


No Air

by Oceantail



Series: Oceantail's other fics [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, First War with Voldemort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Halloween 1981, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pre-Canon, Sirius Black in Azkaban, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceantail/pseuds/Oceantail
Summary: Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?Can't live, can't breathe with no airThat's how I feel whenever you ain't thereThere's no air, no air~~Sirius arrives at the Potter's residence on Halloween night 1981.
Relationships: (you can read it as gen or ship), Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter, its written with gen intentions
Series: Oceantail's other fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928140
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	No Air

**_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?_ **

The roof was already caving in when Sirius drops his motorbike on the street, near hyperventilating as he shoves open the front gate.

Hagrid is somewhere behind him, holding something in his arms but Sirius ignores his yells and clears out a pathway through the collapsed front entrance.

He knows it before he sees it.

**_But how_ **

**_Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?_ **

**_'Cause my world revolves around you_ **

**_It's so hard for me to breathe_ **

James' lifeless corpse sprawled out across the front entrance is a sight he knows will haunt him until the day he dies.

**_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?_ **

**_Can't live, can't breathe with no air_ **

Sirius feels a part of his soul crumble away into nothingness as he stares at James’s body, James’ limp, _dead_ , body and he screams out a desperate breathless sob and runs forward to—to help, to touch, to pray he’s just _wrong_ and that his best friend isn’t _DEAD AT HIS FEET._

**_That's how I feel whenever you ain't there_ **

**_There's no air, no air_ **

He hears his name yelled out louder—a booming cry— but he ignores it and reaches out to touch James’ face and his skin is already _cold_ , so cold, _how is it so cold already!_

**_Got me out here in the water so deep_ **

**_Tell me how you gon' be without me?_ **

**_If you ain't here I just can't breathe_ **

Hagrid is yelling something at him but Sirius can’t hear him, can barely _see_ him from the tears in his eyes. His throat is closing up and dark spots rip across his vision, blinding him.

**_There's no air, no air_ **

**_No air air, No air air_ **

A strong arm with superhuman strength is pulling him up, dragging him away from the body, FROM JAMES, and he screams again, trying to pull himself away but Hagrid’s grip forces him up and back outside.

**_So how do you expect me to live alone with just me?_ **

**_'Cause my world revolves around you_ **

**_It's so hard for me to breathe_ **

He can’t see, he can’t think, he can’t breathe. One moment he’s on his knees, puking across the sidewalk and the next moment he’s trying to wrestle his godson away from Hagrid, begging, pleading, screaming, until his words tear out from his throat in harsh rasps.

**_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?_ **

**_Can't live, can't breathe with no air_ **

**_That's how I feel whenever you ain't there_ **

**_There's no air, no air_ **

He’s running, running, _running._ He can see Peter at the street corner and he _knows, that rat bloody knows he’s here_. Know’s he’s here and that he’s going to _DIE_ for his betrayal, for his treachery, _FOR JAMES._

**_Got me out here in the water so deep_ **

**_Tell me how you gon' be without me?_ **

**_If you ain't here I just can't breathe_ **

He’s gasping for air and his heart _pounds_ in his chest, loss and pain and bloodlust thrumming though his body. Adrenaline in his arteries and vulnerability in his veins. The rat turns to face him and slips his wand from his sleeve to point it to the ground.

He can’t hear the words, the entire world is drowned out by the blood roaring in his ears but he sees the rat’s mouth move and—

The explosion rips the oxygen from his lungs and he drops to the ground and _WATCHES that FUCKING RAT_ slice off his finger and scamper off like a coward. Of _course._

He drags in a harsh inhale and _laughs._

**_There's no air, no air_ **

**_No air air, No air air_ **

The witnesses will say his laughter was deranged. Manic. Crazy. _Insane_. But the only thing Sirius heard in his laugh was desperation and pain. The air rushes out of his lungs, escaping, dancing around him, _taunting him_.

**_Got me here out in the water so deep_ **

**_Tell me how you goin' be without me?_ **

**_If you ain't here I just can't breathe_ **

He wakes up in Azkaban alone.

The putrid gas from the explosion invades his senses and his head spins. _Peter won._ He wants to cry but he’s already struggling to inhale— _FUCKING BREATHE._

It’s like his lungs have collapsed along with the Potter residence, collapsed like James’ body in the entrance of the house, collapsed like the floor beneath him when Peter looked him in the eye and _CONFESSED._

There’s a strangled guttural cry as Sirius vomits across the floor of his cell.

**_There's no air, no air_ **

**_No air air, no air air_ **

**Author's Note:**

> comments are a free and easy way to show the author their work is appreciated <3


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